In Praise of ... The Baroness

The convent nuns weren't the only one who had a problem with Maria. The Sound of Music is going to be on TV this weekend and while Geeky Splendor, generally likes it, we've always felt for The Baroness, who totally got the short shrift.

Despite her brains, beauty, breeding, superior fashion sense and way with a chignon, Captain Von Trapp tossed her aside like last year's ankle boot in favor of some cloying, chipper mus ... mus ... (Oh God, we can barely write it. Deep breath.) Muslin-wearing nun with an awful haircut. So what if The Baroness wanted to send those brats to boarding school? We hear they have absolutely superior institutions of learning tucked far, far away in the Alps. They were annoying enough when they were merely petulant pranksters, but once they got to the singing and puppet shows, it's a wonder The Baroness didn't just stab herself in the heart with one of those blingtastic brooches.

It's so typical to marginalize the self-possessed, bluntly practical, emotionally mature glamazon who doesn't go starry-eyed over refrigerator art while deifying the selfless, wishy-washy (I'm-a-nun-no-I'm-not-yes-I-am), passive-aggressive sexually neutered earth mother.( If you want to catch a glimpse of the unduly maligned Baroness, she's about three minutes in.)






Well, fine. The Baroness was too good to be saddled with that lot. Let The Captain and Octo-Nun have them. I like to think that The Baroness settled down with a very wealthy widower with only one or two well-behaved children and they all lived far away from Nazis. And nuns. In any case, she can console herself with the Great Underrated Fashionista of Fiction Award.