Trash Talk Thursday: Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie!

Maybe Geeky Splendor is getting tasteful in our old age, but we don't care for the tone of the Rihanna coverage, which is why Star magazine's issue does not get props this week for the ghoulish and speculative "Was Rihanna Pregnant?" cover. With Star knocked out of the competition, we turn our attention to InTouch and Us, which both offer Jen vs. Angelina at the Oscars on their covers. We're going with Us here for their "The Real Story Inside The Showdown" with an actual quote from Jen. So what if the quote is "Yes" and maybe the reporter asked her if the sky is blue, it's still impressive. We also like the timeline of how the two foes avoided each other all night and a breakdown of which side of the triangle, celebs would appear to be supporting based solely on some random paprazzi shots.

There is also a priceless story asking: "Is The Bachelor Fake?" Wha???? The hell you say, Us. Next thing you know they'll be implying that The Hills is all staged and that is not something we want to hear. Well, actually it is because we enjoy making fun of a show that we never bother to actually watch. But this Us story makes us want to watch The Bachelor again, just for the mocking value. If only we didn't have lives, we'd totally do that.

But warning to the tabs: Bored now! Enough of the tragic, creepy Rihanna tales and no more of That Broodmare (TM) and her freakish desire to single-handedly populate a trailer park. No, we want fresh dish. Let's hope that Beyonce beats down someone with her shoe next week. Can't Julia Roberts go steal a husband or something? These stars today really do not try hard enough to be exploited.


And are we the only ones worrying about The Incomparable Morgan Fairchild's (TM) feelings about the killer monkey? Really?

Trash Talk Thursday: Rihanna! Octuplet Mom!

Oh, bless you tabloids. Our cup of juicy scandal, speculation and shenanigans runneth over this week. Where to begin? Us and Star both feature Geeky Splendor's current sensational obsessions: Rihanna (who has Geeky Splendor's full support) and Octuplet Mom (who gets the icy glare of disapproval from Geeky Splendor).

You may be thinking, "Surely life does not get any better than this: Rihanna and That Broodmare (TM) in one week!" You may be thinking that, but you would be totally wrong because Us and Star both find a way to work Jen and Angie on to the covers, too!

Star, points out that That Broodmare once did not vaguely resemble Angie. Star also shares the news of Jen's engagement to That Guy Who She Is Totally Not Engaged To. Us, meanwhile, goes for the classic Angie & Jen Oscar Run-In! Oh, please tell me one of them is going to snatch the other one baldheaded on the red carpet.

OK! gives us a huge Jen & Angie's First Meeting Face To Face cover. It's one of those wonderful side-by-side composite shots where it would appear that Celeb A is giving Celeb B stinkeye.

We think the best possible use of your money in these tough economic times would be to dash to Hudson News as fast as you can, grab up all three issues and then sit on the sofa salivating over all this.