Mystical Negro Advisory

Have you been having unusually vivid, perhaps even disturbing, dreams lately? Take heed, people. Mystical Negro is here to tell you that there is some serious psychic intensity going on right now. Don't just shrug it off as too much Ambien, Grey Goose and hot sauce before bed, these messages are coming to you from your angels, ancestors, God, Xenu, Morgan Fairchild, the universe, your subconscious or whatever you want to call it.

Remember your dreams, write them down, interpret the signs and get ready. We are all in for some major changes and the best way to prepare for the road ahead is to read the signs. And just remember, there is a difference between positive thinking and magical thinking, so dismiss these omens at your own peril. I have spoken. (I planned on telling you all this yesterday, but was still to vexed by the Miss America travesty to deal with it. My bad.)


Tipping Point: Practice total-body head-to-toe relaxation right before you get to sleep and try to spend at least five or ten minutes just quietly musing on your dreams before you get out of bed or start talking to people.