Why God? Why?

Miss Georgia didn't win?! Really? I'm just too vexed to blog. Give Geeky Splendor time to process the injustice of it all. You'll have regrets, Pageant Officials. Mark my words.

I was planning on sharing some important Mystical Negro psychic predictions and engaging in a little pagan goddess worship today, but now, I just need time to walk the moors and brood.

Well, after I get out of bed this afternoon and have a few mimosas, maybe — just maybe — I'll clue you all in to some important news from the mystical realm.

I just want to add, this is what comes from allowing pantsuits and two-pieces and moving the whole thing from Atlantic City to Vegas. Chaos, madness, injustice. Sigh.

Trash Talk Thursday

OMG, I am like the Amazing Kreskin. Did I not fearlessly predict that the tabs would be egging on the whole absurd (and by that I mean fabulously dishy)  Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie feud this week. Well,  In Touch and OK! did not disappoint and  OK! would have totally won this round for a wonderful overheated headline: "Obsessed With Angie!" But Us  threw down the gaunltet by filling a gaping void : J. Lo news! Oh, happy day! I forgot how much I missed her. According to Us, an unimpeachable source of information, "The Ring is Off!" She is totally tired of That Guy She Married ™. Do you people understand that once she kicks him out we're going to be treated to delicious, breathless speculation about who is next on her list of ex-husbands-to-be? There are so many viable options. And this whole toned-down thing she has been doing will be over. Hello, mink eyelashes. Hello, conspicuous consumption. Hello, "Who Has The Best Booty?" stories. Kwanzaa came early this year. This is totally going to get us through worrying about the economy and the fact that Minnesota can't recount freaking ballots any faster than this and who has the craziest pastor and everything else that makes our pretty, little heads all hurty. Thank you, Us. Thank you.

Trash Talk Thursday

This week, my beloved tabloids leave me feeling a little ... meh. I guess I knew Us wasn't going to give me enough of a tawdry thrill with The Other Girl From Full House. No, Not The Twins. No, Not That Little One. Yeah, The Other One (TM) on the cover. Well, what are you gonna do, it can't be Angelina and Britney every week. There are some bright spots, namely, a four-page spread devoted to my favorite ever First Lady-elect's Inaugural Ball fashion options.

Tipping Point: Since Jennifer Aniston  is naked on the cover of GQ and talking about something or other, be assured that next week there will be a lovely catfight cover (Jen's Revenge! Brad Says "Shut Up" Again! Angelina Smirks Sexily!) out there for all of us.